Sunday, September 5, 2010

Chapter

Woman::: i don't know what is wrong with me
Friend:::: You need to see a threapist, you r lossing it!

******** 5 weeks gone***************
Therapist::: Madam, i cant seem to help you, you are holding alot back.
Woman:::::Well, its not like i wanted this sessions in the first place, my friend forced me.

*******A day gone and she thinks to herself*******
""hmm, im i holding back??
well i dnt think so, i dnt knw... but @least thatz wat the therapist is saying
ok letz release rite...kul""

**************************************************************
A bottle of greygoose, ribena and cups on the table with a jazz selection playin on a minimal volume from her stereo...
then she says to herself:>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ok what im i holding back
what is this weight
its so so dark
i think i should switch on the lights
naaaa... nvm i'll jst speak aloud!!!!!
********* *********
6 shotz of pure greygoose to start with
********* ***********

..Thinking of the masses
i would not condole with
Solitary, i'm guessing is their favourite possesion
but you, ignorance you possess so clearly and dear
why make full your lead with cockamamy
abi would i say more clearly sappy thoughts
A spec, miles so far away you seek
yet a mountain so close,
closer than your arm lenght you cant see
your on a long thing
the ouflank and trump
are wishes sent so dearly
from my bountiful bossom.

*********************************
she had a lil ribena to drink followed by 5 more shotz of pure greygoose
[dizzy dizzy] shouting out more loud diz tym
****************************************************************************
Difficulty tops her scale of preference
pain accompanies not so far
because the absence present hinders function
EVERYBODY cognizes but actually nobody knows
i feel much better now!!!!
i took a big step wow!!!!

****************************************************************************
5 more shots of pure greygoose and she passes out!!!

#~~SWEETER THAN GBEGIRI~~#..............

SCENE: Boy and girl are having an incredible time together. Boy decides to give his lady a compliment. Which of the following alternatives is most applicable?

a) You are really a lot of fun

b) I enjoy spending time with you

c) You are sweeter than gbegiri!

All WOMEN love compliments. We love men to tell us how great we are, how special, the one and only. We love all that and there is nothing wrong in giving a woman a compliment.

However, if I have to listen to one more banal lyric in a song comparing a woman to a type of food, fruit or vegetable, I am going to explode.

Come on! Surely, there must be better ways to tell women how great they are without using "edibles". We know men love food, food is the way to a man's heart but can they really LOVE food this much?

To be reduced to "gbegiri"? Believe it or not, that is not the worst. Let us examine a couple of popular songs from some of our artists.

Name of song: Dangerous
Artist: Dipp
lyric: "You sweet pass rice and stew" (I would rather be compared to starch and banga soup

Name of song: Shake something
Artist: Jazzman Olofin
lyric: "Omo, o tasty, like fried chicken" (Fried chicken? How ordinary! Maybe he was thinking of KFC?)

Name of song: Pere
Artist: Mo Hits All Stars
lyric: "You are so nice, like Ofada rice" (You don't want to know the lyric after that, something about a restaurant and spice...)

Name of song: Fall in love
Artist: D'banj
lyric: "My sweet potato", "My sugar banana" (Why not just yam? Oh, I forgot, "sweet potato" shows how special the woman is. She is not yam or ordinary potato; she is the very exclusive "sweet potato")

Name of song: Shobedobedoo
Artist: Ikechukwu
lyric: "Let me be your semovita" (Does that mean the woman is the soup? He should have just said "be my egusi")

**********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********************
I used to wonder how men could be so obsessive about their food habits. They have all sorts of rules and regulations when it comes to their feeding habits. "I get angry if I don't eat properly," "I have to eat eba, at least once a day," "I always need to have meat in my soup*....i cant eat a day old food it has to b fresh**," "My morning breakfast is very important," "I'll lose all memory if I don't eat by noon," - all sorts of exasperating reasons why their food needs to be this way or that way....(im definately not liein n yall knw..)

I used to wonder; but now, I wonder NO more. The answer is plain for all to see. This is what excites them in life; the highlight of their lives is FOOD FOOD FOOD. Thus, my dear women, the highest compliment you can get from a man is in comparison with his favourite food, be it soaked garri, kuli-kuli or kpekere....LOL.

That said, I advise any future dates of mine to stick with "You are beautiful" and try not to get too creative. I'd rather hear "You are beautiful" a million times in my life than hear "You are sweeter than GBEGIRI."

i dnt knw if its a song or a poemm.... enjoy

Der r words in my headdd
Its lyk a novel dat ive tried to write over n over again
In this lil bubble am confused
But i can picture you reading the last page.
Speak to me oh d moon
Bless me, let me b quite n calm
Over n over again
trouble may last 4 d nyt
but joy defiantly comes in d morning.

Naw i sit and reflect
Naw i try to understand
Derz no respect
My H’s r are in different lands
Its a lost struggle
You, i miss
Us, i miss more

I wud concentrate and find something to believe in
Trust me obelisk n cataracts wud be leaving
Its So farr to achieve wat i c in dis dreams
My everyday dream yet so extreme
The book says different
The chapters so interesting
Oh the end, sweeetttttttt (pyshic)
Bloody lies, bloody life manual
Kips reoccurring, annual

Naw i sit and reflect
Naw i try to understand
Derz no respect
My H’s r are in different lands
Its a lost struggle
You, i miss
Us, i miss more


Even as i write d last verse
I wud truly take a reverse
Back to my first line
Reflect wit a bottle of wine
Its love nt lust
Its choice nt chance
My soul, my goal
My destiny i trust

Naw i sit and reflect
Naw i try to understand
Derz no respect
My H’s r are in different lands
Its a lost struggle
You, i miss
Us, i miss more

********************Knight***************************



                                 I used to dream of a heroic knight

And haw he would be

I love sleeping beside you at night

You are more than a lover to me

 feeling Ur warmth am safe,  twilight

You are my strong army

I feel very important, limelight

I’ll return d favor gladly

I used to dream of a heroic knight

I know hes name now funny I know haw he should be.